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4 Minutes Read

How To Date Someone With Herpes 

Dating someone with an STD can be challenging, especially if you find out about their condition after being in the relationship for some time. So how exactly do you date someone with herpes, and what can you do to make things easier?

When it comes to dating someone with an STI, say herpes, there are four basic rules. First, you should try to learn more about herpes, including the basics of the disease, how it spreads, and how it affects your body. Second, understand the severity of the condition and what it can do to your life if you acquire it. Third, talk to your partner and set the ground rules for the relationship. Finally, prepare well in the bedroom to avoid catching herpes from your partner while you have sexual intercourse.

While these rules look simple, they can be challenging to adopt into your lifestyle. Read more below to find out how to apply these rules to your life if you want to date someone with herpes.


Dating someone with herpes can be a difficult task. For starters, herpes is not a curable condition – which means that once you acquire it, the virus lives inside your body for as long as you do. Moreover, having herpes can make you vulnerable to a plethora of other sexually transmitted diseases as well. 

Fortunately, some rules make your life easier if you are dating someone who has herpes.

Understand the disease

Learning about herpes is the first step you should take to date someone with herpes. 

Genital herpes is caused by a virus known as the herpes virus. The herpes virus, or HSV, usually spreads from vaginal, anal, and oral sex. HSV has two types, HSV 1 and HSV 2, and the second variety of the virus causes genital herpes. 

When you have a basic understanding of what causes the disease and how it spreads, you can take better measures to avoid catching herpes from your partner. 

Understand the basics of the disease either through the internet, by talking to your partner, or even a doctor. 

Understand the outcome

After learning about the basics, the next step is to realize just how much it would affect you and your lifestyle if you decide to date someone with herpes. 

Here are all the bad things that you need to remember about herpes before you make the big decision. 

First, herpes is incurable, which means that it's not going anywhere once you get it. Second, people with herpes experience frequent herpes outbreaks – an explosion of bothersome symptoms that appear frequently and come unexpectedly. Third, herpes can be very easily transmitted to you from your partner if you are not careful enough in the bedroom.

However, it’s not all bad news. Living with someone who has herpes might sound daunting, and rightly so, but it’s not as grim as you think.

Herpes doesn't always come with symptoms. 50% of the young American population have HSV type 1, but not all have symptoms.

Secondly, herpes is usually self-contained even when it is symptomatic. The symptoms usually last about three weeks before they disappear on their own. You can decrease the frequency and intensity with which these symptoms appear even further by taking the prescribed medication regularly. 

Lastly, modern antiviral drugs are very good at keeping the herpes virus in your body at bay. These medications cannot fully cure herpes but can easily treat the symptoms and reduce the frequency with which they appear.

Have the conversation 

It is important to address the elephant in the room and talk to your partner about their diagnosis. 

Talking to your partner about their STDs can be difficult because it’s very easy to sound insensitive when you don’t know how to talk about it. However, having this conversation is very important because you cannot form an effective plan without first talking about the situation.

When you talk to your partner about their disease, you can help both by establishing boundaries that work for both of you.

Prepare thoroughly

Now that you’ve had the conversation with your partner about their STD, it is time to prepare for what’s to come. 

When dating someone with herpes, it is essential to establish safe sex boundaries. Talk to your partner about what kind of sexual acts are permissible in the relationship and what is off the table. Also, discuss the need to use a condom before every sexual act. It would help if you also planned regular visits to your doctor's clinic for STI testing. 


While it certainly is challenging to date someone with herpes, a little preparation can go a long way. Follow these 4 essential rules for dating someone with herpes so that you can navigate your relationship like a pro. Remember, nothing ever works out if you don't do anything about it. Talk to your partner whenever you need to, maintain safe boundaries, and visit your healthcare provider often so that both you and your partner can enjoy a happy and healthy life.


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